Life out of the Ordinary

(via shutupandkissmeagain)

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

sweet-bitsy:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency

YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD

911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN

YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS

911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER

MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.

Signal boost

YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ

TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.

yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

(via shutupandkissmeagain)

(via i-said-id-fight-back)

(via shutupandkissmeagain)

pizzadelivery:

my school has this fb page where students can sell their old stuff and i’ve been laughing at this girl’s post for 85 years

(via shutupandkissmeagain)

(via shutupandkissmeagain)

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

nightlifemingus:

3words-to-remember:

nightlifemingus:

this is probably the only sex gif i will every reblog, because for some reason i feel like it’s more than just sex. i don’t know if it’s how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough. he’s actually looking at her like a person and not just a sex object. 

but then again, it could be all in my head. i mean, this is how i would want it to be. but that’s just me.

I am so confused. Like is this the wrong gif paired with the text? or are you analyzing it as a sex gif or what i dont know.

it’s a joke. the joke is that there is an incongruity between the text, which is an actual description of a sex gif i have copied and pasted, and the actual image. the juxtaposition is humorous because it is unexpected and ridiculous; not only for the obvious lack of sex between pooh and his target, but also because of lines such as “[…] how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough.” this example is in direct opposition with the action of the .gif: pooh and the man are in the beginnings of a physical altercation, there is no intimacy here. they are looking at each other with fear on one end and aggression on the other, and if they were to be able to get “close enough,” it would lead pooh to strike this man with the bat. i hope this helps and that you are able to laugh at my joke. please laugh at my jokes.

(via territorialcreep)

(via teenage-travesty)